Wherefore art thou, Exam Voice?

03 Mar 2011 4 Comments

by nainu in Scribbles Tags: board exams, real life, voice in my head

Hello! What? You still check this blog? Really? Wow. Thanks. (You have issues though) It has been two years since I started the blog and I’m back to writing board exams and apparently back to writing blog posts too. Well, we’ll see how long that lasts.

A little over two years ago, I made the most amazing discovery in the world. I realised that the voice in my head (the one that says shut up when I’m saying something stupid and sings tonelessly when I’m sleeping in class) turns into something entirely different during exams. It is soothing, entertaining and the first time I heard it-just plain weird.

It was during my second maths revision exam in the tenth that I first made its acquaintance. I was stuck with a particularly difficult proof and the voice was going Fajitas! French toast! Flambé! Flootsnoot! and then out of nowhere it changed to Robert Pattinson as Edward “Glittery” Cullen going ‘As if you could outrun me! As if you could hold me back!’ And repeated that over and over and over again till I wasn’t sure whether I was worried about my unsolved paper or the creepy personality change of the voice in my head. I was getting all tense and the voice seemed to go Asifyoucouldoutrunme!Asifyoucouldholdmeback!,working itself into a frenzy till I did manage to finish the proof at which point it stopped. And sang a little Linkin Park.

Weird as that was, I soon realised that the Exam Voice was an extremely talented being. It could sing-not tonelessly like before- but actual singing and could read parts of books out loud. At one point of time, it even quoted poetry from recitation competitions held in primary. But the best thing of all was how it stopped being a voice and became a TV during English exams. Fancy watching Emma Watson go ‘It’s Wingardium LeviOsa not Leviosaaaa’ when you’re pretending to be Sachin/Sneha writing a letter complaining about garbage problems in the park near your colony to the local newspaper. (If you don’t understand, you’re better off not knowing. Seriously)

Good times. Today was my first board exam. And I was looking forward to some entertainment during Business Studies. I even thought of music I’d like it to play (The Rolling Stones and some Bon Jovi) But then disaster struck. The voice didn’t work! It started the beginning of You Give Love A Bad Name before coming to an abrupt halt and muttering stuff about the principles of management. I felt rather glum after that. I need it back before English! I need it to play Star Wars

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